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Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #1:
The other day the baby tickled me from the inside. Like really tickled as if someone had squeezed my side. 11/21/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #2:
Every day I look at my belly button to see if it is still an innie. It is totally flat now. 12/1/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #3:
Up until this point the baby moving in my belly felt like a gold fish swimming around in there. Now it feels like a baby swimming and kicking and moving around. It really makes it real. 12/2/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #4:
The other day Mike got up early and started getting ready all loud in our room, way before I needed to get up. Then the baby started moving around all crazy in my belly, as if somehow Mike woke him up. When Mike left, the baby immediately calmed back down. I don't think the baby could hear yet then, so I wonder if he just knew his Dad was up and wanted to hang out with him. 12/3/10

Freebie Story:
I got a free baby carrier sling today and I wanted to try it out, but my baby isn't available yet. But I did find a 2 liter bottle of root-beer...I learned two things; #1 Baby carriers are not made to be worn by women who still have a baby bump. #2 If you carry around a bottle of root-beer in a baby sling all day, it will make you crave root-beer but all you will have left to drink is a bottle of flat warm root-beer. 12/8/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #5:
This baby has no regard for my daily activities. He dances around in my belly while I am in meetings at work, causing my belly to visibly shake and move around. (It is so hard to keep a straight face). He has kicked me in the bladder while I'm driving on the freeway. And he likes to practice Karate when I am trying to sleep. 12/10/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #6:
I felt the baby have the hiccups today for the first time. 12/13/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #7:
The other day I was sitting on the couch with Mike. He was watching Basketball, and I was watching my basketball sized belly move and shape shift like the Abyss, as the baby moved and kicked and rolled around. It was very entertaining for each of us respectively. 12/30/10

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #8:
In the middle of the night the other night, the baby started moving and jumping and flipping over, so I couldn't sleep. I was so desperate to calm him down and go back to sleep, that I got up and went to the the rocking chair hoping that the rocking would somehow calm him down. But he just kept on wiggling. So I started patting my belly...and then it occurred to me how silly the whole thing was. I don't know what's more weird, the fact that I was rocking and patting my belly to sleep, or that it worked, he calmed down and I went back to bed and got some sleep.    1/3/11

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #9:
The number 1 question I get asked all day is "How are you Feeling?" Well...I'm a little bummed we were out of milk this morning because I really wanted frosted mini wheats for break- Oh you mean because I'm pregnant? Um, I feel like I have a 4 pound parasite training to be an olympic gymnast in my stomach. And for some reason I'm really happy about it...How are you feeling? 1/5/11

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #10:
I love shopping for maternity clothes because the sizes lie to you. They tell you that even though you are bigger than you have ever been in your life, your current size is two sizes smaller than you were before you got pregnant. So lie to me Maternity size. Lie lie lie, and if you continue to make me feel really good about my enlarged belly (not to mention my body's pitiful ability to exercise right now) I might just buy a whole wardrobe of you. 1/7/11

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #11:
Almost every time we tell a guy that we are having a boy, he suggests that we name the baby whatever his own name is. I had no idea that almost every guy thinks their name is so cool, or that they all just think the same joke is funny. But it seriously happens all the time. 1/11/11

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #12:
Pregnancy makes you so clumsy, here are a few things that have happened lately;
I have dropped...
an apple I was eating onto the asphalt,
an orange I was peeling,
my flatiron while I was doing my hair (it was hot)-twice,
a gallon of apple juice,
a plate of food (the whole plate broke and ruined my food).
I have run into...
the bathroom counter (bruised my hip),
walls, people, and doorways.
I have also...
locked my keys in the car,
and today I shut the garage door with myself inside while I was trying to get in the car to leave...a-mazing.   1/17/11

Pregnancy is so wierd. Fact #13:
I have more in common with my Grampa right now than I ever have.
1. Grampa walks slow. I walk slow.
2. Grampa has trouble remembering names of things and words and basically anything short term. I am having trouble remembering names of things and words and basically anything short term.
3. Grampa has a hard time bending down to tie his shoes. So he gave up and bought some Vans with the velcro. I can no longer bend down to tie my shoes. So I am about to give up and just wear my Vans slip-ons.
4. Grampa has a shower chair in his shower. I am about to get a shower chair for my shower cause it's getting too tough to stand up for that long.
5. Grampa goes to the Dr. like every other week. I go to the Dr. every other week.
6. Grampa's wife is all worried about him falling down. My husband worries about me falling down.
7. Grampa has to sit in a recliner to be comfortable. I have to sit in a recliner to be comfortable.
8. Grampa needs help getting in and out of the car. Pretty soon I'm going to need help getting in and out of the car.
9. Grampa likes to talk to random people at the grocery store and basically everywhere he goes. Random people like to talk to me about my baby belly at the grocery store and basically everywhere I go.
10. Grampa worries about the cost of diapers. I am about to worry about the cost of diapers.
11. Grampa is excited for March cause it will be his 85th Birthday. I am excited for March cause it will be my baby's actual BIRTHday.
12. Grampa is always telling me how much he loves me every time he sees me. I am always telling my baby that I love him every time I feel him move.
1/19/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #14:
If someone parks too close to my car, I can not leave. It's not like I can turn sideways and shimmy through my barely open driver side door. I am wider turned sideways right now than facing forward. And there is no possible way I can climb in through the passenger side and just hop over the center console to get to my seat.
So thanks for that lame old Honda at the District today. Learn how to park. You are lucky I am so happy when I'm pregnant, or your car might have some stuff wrong with it right now.
1/21/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #15:
My belly just passed the basketball size stage. Now it is entering the beach ball sized stage.   1/23/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #16:
This year for Christmas Mike made his very first turkey. About the same time my belly button popped out like a pop up turkey timer...coincidence? I think not.   1/26/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #17:
Typical conversation in our home; Pam: Ouch! Baby can you please move. Mike: Are you OK Honey? Pam: Yes, I am talking to the baby. He is squishing something important. Mike: Like What? Pam: Like a vital organ. Mike: I don't think he understands english yet honey. Pam: Should I ask him in French? 1/27/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #18:
I have never identified with Santa Clause so much in my life. And not just because I have been preparing all year to deliver an awesome present...But really because my belly shakes when I laugh like a bowl full of jelly.    2/1/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #19:
I am starting to feel bad for my little guy, that the water he has been living in for the past 8 months is all going to be drained pretty soon and he will have to live out in the air like the rest of us.

I can only imagine how difficult this will be for him. I used to get sad as a child when my bathwater got drained. No wonder babies cry so much.

I understand what it's like to miss the water. I drive down PCH all the time, and look at the water longingly just wishing I could go in. But it's just too cold right now, and my wetsuit won't stretch over my belly anymore.

Enjoy the water while you can little guy. And then, I promise to let you play in the bathtub way too long until your little toes look like raisins every single day. And to take you to the ocean all the time to play in the waves.
2/2/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #20:
These are the ways I have used to describe what it feels like to be pregnant.

  • Like a little goldfish swimming around in a bowling ball,
  • Like a baby swimming around in my belly,
  • Like someone doing karate,
  • Like I ate a basketball for lunch,
  • Like a four pound parasite training to be an olympic gymnast in my belly,
  • Like the baby is knocking on my belly to remind me that he's here,
  • Like all of a sudden my guts came alive and started switching places with each other,
  • Like there's a 20 lb weight strapped to my waist,
  • That the baby pushing his little feet on the wall inside my belly and moving them around is like a shiatsu massager -now if only I could push my belly up to my own back the baby could give me a back massage. That would be awesome.     2/3/11


Pregnancy is so weird. Fact #21:
I found out today that I run super awkward right now. My hip joint are so loose, I just cannot run the normal way. I can only bend my legs and take super long strides. Like a crouching pregnant speed-walker. I tried this morning and just had to laugh at myself. I looked ridiculous. It reminded me of that line from The Sandlot when Benny says "What are you laughing at Yeah yeah, you run like a duck."
2/4/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 22:
I have three weeks left, and people are constantly telling me that I'm "Ready to Pop", or that "It looks like I'm not gonna make it to my due date", or that "That baby looks like it's coming early".  I don't go walking up to old people and say "You look like you could die any day now", or "Wow, those bags under your eyes look like they are going to fall right off your face".  So why would they say something equally as lame to me?

I get it, I look like I have a watermelon under my dress. I see myself in the mirror every day, and the sheer size of my belly makes me laugh. There is no need for anyone to let me know how huge it looks to them, or to scare me, or to predict my near future.

I know they don't often see women that are this pregnant all out shopping, or at work, or walking around. But I am doing just fine, so I am still out and about. And, I would like to stay pregnant for the next three weeks until my baby is actually ready to be born.

So thanks for your professional opinions general public, but I'm gonna be just fine without them. And just to let you know, in case you missed this in medical school, bellies don't pop at the end of pregnancy, they slowly push babies out. But that mental image of my abdomen actually popping like a balloon, is really helpful right now. Thanks for that. Have a good one.
2/8/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 23:
I now officially weight more than Mike. Well, me annnd the baby weigh more than Mike. But if you combine our heights, together me and the baby are like over a foot taller than him. Sooo I don't mind. ...I wonder if we could beat him in a game of 2 on 1 basketball right now...or ever.   2/9/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 24:
How is it possible that almost every morning I can do all these maternity exercises, and yoga, and stretches, and I'm totally fine. But then, I can't bend down to tie my shoe. 2/10/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 25:
I get hungry so often, and I can't eat a lot because my stomach is all squished up under my ribs. (Which feels really strange when it growls in it's new location by the way) So I have to eat many meals throughout the day.
I eat a snack first thing in the morning. Then I eat breakfast right before I leave for work. Then I eat another breakfast after I get to work. Then I eat lunch at lunch time. Then I eat a snack a couple hours later. Then I eat dinner before I leave work, then i eat dinner again when I get home. And just in case I am out somewhere and get super hungry, I always carry an emergency Snickers in my purse.
2/11/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 26:
I guess pregnant women tend to dream about babies. But I don't...at all. I think it's because I am having a boy. I dream about things that little boys dream about like giant beetles and spiders, fighting off bad guys, and being at my grandparents house. I also dream about things that teenage boys dream about. I'll let you guess what that is.   2/14/14

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 27:
Riding in a car usually makes babies fall asleep right? Well whenever I drive somewhere this baby starts wiggling and moving around a lot. It's like he is so stoked on the ride. And he moves more and more the faster I go. I wonder why. Maybe he wants to be a race car driver when he grows up. Or just drive like one like his Daddy. 2/16/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 28:
I recently read in a book about language learning for babies, that the things a baby hears often while in their Mothers stomach, they will be able to recognize after they are born, and that these things can be very soothing to them.

Things such as, a nursery rhyme, a book read aloud, the voice of their parents, a certain language, or a certain song.

I noticed today that I have been listening to Social Distortion and The Offspring a lot lately. I wonder if the baby will be soothed by hearing these songs after he is born.

Can you imagine, I'm all rocking the baby in our little rocking chair trying to soothe him, and he hears the opening music from "Self Esteem" by The Offspring. "Blah blah, blah-blah-blah, Whlah whlah, whlah-whlah-whlah"

Heh heh, I'm gonna try it. ;) ...I'll let you know how it goes.

Link to song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeWjzBHUdsI
2/18/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 29:
I am 9 months pregnant today. So in honor of that, I wrote an especially long Wierd Pregnancy Fact entitled..."You might be pregnant if..."
  • You might be pregnant if...
  • You eat ice cream to get rid of heartburn
  • Your favorite thing in your wardrobe is no longer your Volcom sweater, but is now the only pair of jeans that still fits
  • Every time you go to the grocery store you consider riding on one of those old people ride along carts
  • You will drive around for fifteen minutes trying to find a closer parking spot
  • Everyone in the world talks to you about very personal experiences everywhere you go
  • You can't sleep through the night and you haven't worn makeup in 5 days, and still people are constantly telling you how cute you look
  • You have the worst back pain of your life and yet you still you feel pretty good
  • The number of times per day you go the bathroom is in the double digits (the sad thing is I am not even exaggerating) and that doesn't even include the three times you go in the middle of the night
  • You notice yourself singing "Haven't Got Time For The Pain" by Carly Simon, to yourself as you go about your daily tasks of getting ready in the morning or doing the dishes without even realizing you are doing it
  • You are mastering the art of convincing yourself that you can make it to work just one more day
  • Your favorite way to do your hair is no longer the way that makes it the most pretty, but is now the way that looks the least bad in the shortest amount of time
  • You daydream about cleaning and scrubbing things like closets and shower doors
  • You feel suppressed because you are not allowed to paint or use chemical cleaners, and that is all you want to do
  • You are too sore and tired to sort through baby clothes, or organize a bedroom, or decorate anything, but you do it anyway.
  • You list all the people in your head that you know who have a pool, and wonder if they will let you swm in it for a couple hours just to give your back a break from the weight it is carrying
  • You are already in love with someone you have never met
2/22/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 30:
I have never loved my Mom so much as I do right now for two main reasons.

1. I am starting to understand the magnitude of her love for me as her baby. She went through pregnancy and labor several times. A few of those times I witnessed how difficult it was for her, yet all I ever heard her say about pregnancy or birth was "Yes but it's so worth it."

2. Because she understands how I feel being pregnant, she is constantly doing things for me to make my life easier.

  • She came with me to my ultrasound appointments when Mike was in the academy and couldn't make it.
  • She washes my dishes every time she is at my house.
  • She buys me a gift for the baby every couple of weeks or so, because she "can't resist".
  • She bought me a chair for the shower because she heard that I wanted one, and she said that she had always wanted one while she was pregnant, so she wanted me to have one.
  • She helped me wash all the baby clothes. And let me do it at her house, so I didn't have to pay to do it at my apartment.
  • She has endured several shopping trips, and helped me as I search for the perfect nursery decor.
  • She has come over several times during my pregnancy just to help me clean my house.
  • She is sewing me a bedskirt for the crib because I couldn't find one that I liked, and I don't have the energy to sew one myself anymore.
  • Every time we go anywhere together she drives so I can relax.
Thank you for everything Mom. I love you, and appreciate you very much!
2/23/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 31:
I have been pregnant for a long time and yet every time I see my shadow, it shocks me to see my huge belly. It makes me laugh how surprised I get every time. P.S. He is not here yet. 3/3/11

Pregnancy is so weird. Fact # 32:
He's here!
Justin Patrick Lemmon: Born this morning at 2:39 AM, weighs 9 lbs, and is 22-1/2 in. long. 3/5/11

2 comments:

  1. you are kidding me about being 22 1/2 long!!!! WOWZA!! Go mom!!!

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    Replies
    1. No kidding, he is gigantic, like an NBA Player.

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